How to be more dominant

There’s a lot of talk about alpha males and dominating personalities. But what if you’re not that type of person? What if you’re more passive and quiet, but still want to be dominant in the bedroom? I’m here to tell you that it is possible—and it doesn’t have to involve being loud and aggressive in order to be dominant. In fact, some of the best sex I’ve ever had has been with my boyfriend when he was submitting (or pretending) to my dominance! So how do you get started? Here are some tips on how to make your partner submit:

Join a bdsm community or bdsm dating sites

 One of the best ways to get started is by joining a bdsm community or bdsm dating sites such as Fetster. This will give you access to other people who are interested in kink and can provide inspiration for your roleplay scenarios. There are also plenty of resources available online that can help you learn about different types of domination, what’s acceptable behavior, and how to keep things safe for both parties involved.

Be more assertive.

Marking your territory and being more assertive in the bedroom is a great way to show your partner that you’re dominant. A lot of guys are hesitant about taking control in bed, so don’t be afraid to tell him what you want. Tell him to submit to you and take control of the sex act, even if it makes him nervous at first. Use dirty talk during sex and let him know exactly what’s on your mind!

Be more decisive.

You’re more dominant when you act quickly and decisively. If your boss asks for a report by Friday, don’t dawdle until Wednesday night trying to decide how much time should be spent on each section of the report. If one of your employees asks for advice on how he can improve his performance, don’t hem and haw about whether or not this is something that could lead to conflict with other employees in the department (and therefore make things awkward).

Make decisions quickly and stick to them–even if someone else disagrees with them! This doesn’t mean that every decision has to be made without any input from others; sometimes it’s helpful (or even necessary) for multiple people’s opinions on an issue before making up your mind. But once those opinions have been gathered and considered, stick with whatever choice seems right at the moment–even if later research shows otherwise or another person comes along later with better ideas than yours were originally intended as being.”

Take what you want.

When you’re in a dominant position, it’s important to take what you want. This may mean that your partner has never been dominated before, so it will be up to you to set the pace and guide them through their first time being dominated.

Take control of the situation by making your partner feel like they are the one who is in charge–but only for as long as you want them too! Be assertive and confident when asking for what you need from them. Be clear about what it is that will turn on both partners during sex (it’s okay if this isn’t always penetration), and don’t be afraid to ask questions if something isn’t working out quite right yet.”

Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you want.

When it comes to being dominant, the first thing you need to do is let your partner know what you want. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you like and don’t like in bed. If your partner isn’t doing something right, tell them–but make sure that it’s constructive criticism rather than just complaining about something without offering up any solutions or alternatives.

If they’re willing to compromise with you (which they should be), then great! Your relationship will only get better from there on out. Read: Dom and sub relationship

Tell him to submit to you.

Now that you’re in the dominant role, it’s time to start asserting yourself. You can do this by telling him what to do and when to do it. For example: “Put your hands behind your back.” Or, “Don’t move until I say so.”

The key here is being assertive but not aggressive; dominant but not domineering; confident without being cocky or controlling (which would be very unattractive). Don’t forget about the importance of being demanding–but don’t get too demanding either!

Use dirty talk during sex and let him know what you want.

Dirty talk is a great way to let your man know what you want in bed. Don’t be afraid to tell him what you like, when you’re ready for more and how he can make the experience better for both of you.

Don’t just sit there waiting for him to figure out what works best for you; take control of the sex act by telling him exactly how it should go down!

You don’t need to be an alpha male or the dominant personality in order to be in charge in the bedroom.

You don’t need to be an alpha male or the dominant personality in order to be in charge in the bedroom. Being dominant isn’t about being aggressive and domineering, but rather having a strong personality and taking control of your sex life. This can mean different things for different people depending on what they want out of their relationships, but it’s important not just for men but also for women who might want to experiment with different types of dominance or submission during sex.

Being dominant doesn’t necessarily mean you have control over others–it can also simply mean that you’re more assertive than others around you (and thus able to make decisions without being questioned). For example: if someone tells their partner they don’t like something during sex, they may feel uncomfortable expressing themselves because they know their partner will probably argue with them or try changing their mind anyway; this kind of behavior would indicate that both people aren’t communicating effectively enough regarding what works best between them sexually (and could lead one person feeling unsatisfied). Instead of arguing back-and-forth until one gets angry enough at being ignored/disrespected enough times over time…try just saying “no thanks!”


You don’t need to be an alpha male or the dominant personality in order to be in charge in the bedroom. All you have to do is take control of your own pleasure and let him know what you want. If he’s willing to submit to you, then all the better!